Infertility rate has risen in the last few decades. How does one tackle the issue? Fynn Jamal discusses her life story of infertility and adoption
EVERYONE’S definition of ‘starting a family’ differs from one another.
While some find solace in having their partner by their side, some find having children to be the ultimate goal of marriage – to continue their legacy in the world, to carry their family values and virtues.
However, when it comes to bearing a child, not everyone is capable. When it comes to infertility, women are often blamed by the society.
‘Unable to provide the husband with a child’ is often one of the most common blames to the wives – making them insecure. Therefore, not everyone is vocal about their situation.
Overcoming through adoption
Singer-songwriter Nur Affina Yanti Jamalludin, known as Fynn Jamal, is a proud mother of two adopted children. Unable to bear her own children, she adopted Bakti Arjuna Fitri (Juna) in 2012 and the beautiful Sakti Kecana Fitri (Sakti) five years later.
Says Fynn: “I’ve had problems with my periods since I was in secondary school. It was painful to say the least. I’m always writhing in pain from my heavy bleeding. This leads to me being anaemic and having low blood pressure.”
Fynn went to get her fertility tested after marrying fellow singer Tri Hadzir (Tri). To no surprise, her doctor confirmed she was never going to get pregnant.
“Before getting married, I told my husband (then boyfriend) Tri I might not be able to bear children for him. I was insecure, afraid it would be a deal breaker for him.”
A man’s love for her
“He said: ‘I’m not marrying you because I want children. I’m marrying you to have a partner, a best friend to experience the ups and downs of life with me’. He also said he was open to the idea of adopting a child with me.”
Adopting to life after Juna
Swallowing the truth pill, the couple opted for adoption.
“Adoption is a privilege. It’s not a simple decision to be made willy-nilly. It has to be done at the right time, with stable financial state.
“There were plenty of times when I wanted to adopt a child but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to raise a child when I wasn’t ready spiritually and financially,” she continues.
Fynn says her life completely changed after Juna joined the family.
“Juna was supposed to be born in June – thus the name. But God works in mysterious ways. He came out in May when I was overseas.
“I watched him sleep through Skype for hours every day. When I got back, I held him for the first time and I knew that I’m going to love him until the end of time.”
Juna’s addition to the family made an impact on Fynn – psychologically and spiritually. According to Fynn, a lot changed after adopting Juna.
She made life modifications to find time in her busy schedule to be with Juna. Her young son helped her look at life in a brand new perspective.
Three weeks into birth, Juna was diagnosed with a congenital heart abnormality. Fynn can still recall the moment when the doctor wheeled her young son into the operating theatre.
“The doctor looked me in the eye. He said: ‘You understand that there’s a chance that he might not survive this, right?’ That was when I realised that I loved the creation more than I love the creator. That was when I decided
to devote my life and existence to the Al-Mighty.”
A challenge of her own
When Juna was diagnosed with autism, Fynn says she was in denial.
“Then I realised this was not about me. Everything became about trying to help him adapt with his special condition. And Islam promised paradise for special people like Juna.
“The only way I can see him after my demise is to work myself towards going to paradise. It made me change for the better. If it wasn’t for the family that I have, I would probably still be in a stray path,” she adds.
To the married couples who are struggling with infertility, Fynn has this to say: “Redefine your happiness. Ask yourself, is it something that you really want? Or is it something that everyone wants you to want? To the husbands out there, you have an important role to play. You are the anchor to your wife. As long as you have each other, you can redefine what makes you happy.”— The Health
Facts on infertility
- Up to 80 million people around the world are affected by infertility, with one in 10 couples facing fertility issues.
- In developing countries, this impact is greater, with one in four couples found to be affected by infertility.
- Both male and female factors contribute equally to infertility.
- At birth, women have about two million eggs in their ovaries. This is the entire supply of eggs for a lifetime. As women age, the number of eggs suitable for a viable pregnancy decreases in quantity and quality.
- Being heavily overweight or even severely underweight can have negative consequences for one’s ability to conceive. Obesity, for instance, can interfere with normal hormone function and overall fertility.
- Common causes of infertility among women are hormonal issues, structural issues, and diminished ovarian reserve. While in men, it is generally low sperm count.